Limbo

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Limbo is such a funny word. It invokes two very different images and emotions in me. On one hand, I can see a party, maybe with hula skirts, bright colors, loud music, people laughing, and a silly, fun, game where everyone makes a fool of themselves and it's ok. It's safe. On the other hand, I see a dark place, a cave. Scary and cold. It feels empty, but yet still has the expectation of becoming full. I almost see a pair of huge brass scales constantly wavering, balancing, between great loss and great hope.

The second image is where I find myself this morning, unsure of what to feel. Should I grasp onto that hope, praying that my weight will tip the scale in that direction? Or should I begin to do the cautious thing and prepare my heart for loss?

There is no way to fully prepare a mama's heart for the agony of this waiting time, though our infertility journey did provide a significant amount of practice. Traveling the ups and downs of that road has, at least, allowed me to know that I can still hold my head above a flood of overwhelming grief and I know how to ride the tradewinds of overwhelming hope.

As with everything else in my life, I have come to see that I am faced with a choice. A choice of windows with which to  view this time. Am I going to curl into a ball in the corner of that cave? Or am I going to party?

About a month ago, we reached out to each one of you and asked you to pray proactively, firmly and specifically that our case would be transferred and pass through the Feb. review period with a huge yes. Thank you so much for praying with us!

We have been communicating back and forth with our agency this week. They have been communicating/advocating on our behalf with their contacts at the adoption authority and at Cora's orphanage. We have a mixed bag of news.

We'll start with the good news....because don't we all want to hear that first?!... Our case did go under review in February and our status in the computer system has been changed to APPROVED!!!!! We are so excited because that means that our match with Cora is secure until the next level.

The flipside of this news is that our case has still not been transferred. So although we are approved to move forward, we still don't have a new agency to handle our paperwork over there. There are talks and negotiations going on right now to try to make that happen. There are a handful of other families stuck in this same position, too. Our biggest concern and prayer request at the moment is that Cora and all of the other children be allowed to stay physically where they are in the orphanage or with their foster families. Please pray with us that these kiddos can stay where they are.

That's what's going on with us.

 

So....for the moment...I have made a choice...

 

Hope and I have a fiesta to get to!

 

Let's party!!!!

 

***Straps on party hat and gets in line for the Limbo.***