At some point during the night, Cora Lakshmi woke up feeling
cold and the grief set in all over again. She finally let me change her diaper,
but still wouldn’t let me change her out of her dress. I did manage to get some
pants and a jacket on her and she went back to sleep. The next morning, she was
bright eyed, bushy tailed, and hungry! It was then that we discovered her love
of Goldfish crackers. When the kitchen opened for breakfast, we had no idea
what to order for her. Our guide saved the morning by suggesting a dosa with
masala! She scarfed that down! Our biggest issue now was the potty. We knew she
had been toilet trained but her Amma had put Lakshmi in diapers anticipating
all the changes she was about to go through. Cora Lakshmi kept asking to go to
the potty but every time we took her to the toilet, she would panic.
We had also told the orphanage director that we would come
to the center again on this day before we flew back to Delhi to say goodbye.
Lakshmi was still grieving very hard. We decided that Jason would go by himself
while Lakshmi and I packed. I sent clothes and shoes with him that were too
small for Lakshmi and one of the talking easter eggs we brought. We met another
girl at the center who was also blind though much older than our girl and I
wanted her to have it.
While Daddy was gone, Lakshmi rediscovered the fact that she
didn’t want anything to do with this strange woman who was not her Amma. And
she screamed. I was able to calm her for a few minutes with a sippy cup, a Velcro
shoe, and a swim diaper. The latter two were apparently the most fascinating
noise makers she had ever heard. As long as I let her play and packed in the
same room there was peace. When I finished packing, I attempted to take Lakshmi
on the balcony of the common area for some fresh air and a change of scenery.
Once we were on the balcony, she calmed down and listened to the sounds around
us. Eventually, she gave me the most precious gift by singing Twinkle, Twinkle
Little Star. I love her voice when she sings!
Jason also experienced the kindness of the orphanage
director. She was very understanding about us keeping Lakshmi at the hotel and
agreed that was best for her. When Jason told her about our potty problems, she
sent him back with a training potty that Lakshmi would be used to. She told
Jason that it had blessed her to see how God had brought our family together. I
hope one day I will be able to show her just how much she has blessed us.
As soon as Daddy got back, the truce Lakshmi and I had come
to was over and she wanted only Daddy. They played while I got last minute
things together and then it was time to head to the airport. We decided that I
should carry Lakshmi in the Ergo to promote some bonding time on the way to the
airport. We should have passed out earplugs to our guide and our driver because
she was not pleased with that plan. We learned quickly that “LECK!” was Lakshmi’s
interpretation of the Tamil word for no. There was a heartwarming moment with
the driver as we were careening through Bangalore. I had been telling Lakshmi “mommy
loves you, mommy will take care of you” to which Lakshmi responded “MOMMY,
LECK!” The driver chuckled and asked if I knew what she said. He then said
something to Lakshmi in Tamil which stopped the crying and “lecks” immediately.
The driver then told me he had essentially told her that she had a good amma
and she needed to be quiet because she was safe. It didn’t last long, but the
momentary peace was blissful and the support from a stranger heaven-sent. It
was more of the same struggle with my beti as we navigated the airport. She
eventually fell asleep in the Ergo.
It was when we were waiting at the gate for our flight to Delhi that we
had our first tense encounter with someone from the general public. As I’ve
mentioned before, the first few days of bonding are stressful on all involved
so I’m sure we all looked a little worse for wear. A gentleman approached me
and asked if he could take a picture of “the girl child”. I told him that I was
uncomfortable with that. He was polite and then he asked my daughter something
in Hindi. When I asked what he said, he ignored me. Our guide exchanged a few heated
sounding words with him in Hindi and the man walked away. I’ve thought about
that moment a lot since we came home. At first, I was furious that maybe he
thought we were trying to steal our daughter that we had fought so hard for.
Now I am more thankful that there was someone willing to stand up for the
welfare of a child they knew nothing about.
Lakshmi actually loved her first plane ride. When we were
ascending, her eyes got as big as saucers and she giggled! She didn’t leave her
daddy’s lap the whole flight and after the first time Daddy followed flight
attendant instructions and put her in her own seat, no one asked again. Right
as we were beginning to descend into Delhi, Lakshmi gave me another gift. A
whopping stinky diaper and as we were actively descending, I had no other
option but to change her right there on the seat. So I did. I started to feel
like maybe I would be ok at this mom thing.
It was late evening as we got to our hotel in Delhi where we
would be staying for 9 nights. When we checked in, a porter told us that the
duty manager wished to speak with us in the morning and that we were to call
her immediately when we woke up to discuss our room. I had no idea what this
meant. When we got to our room, I hoped that the manager was going to address
the issue that this was not the room I paid for, but one a step down from that.
I had gotten a room with a bathtub on purpose and this one had none. However,
we were exhausted and chose to accept what we were given and settle in for the
night. We tried to bathe Lakshmi in the shower which turned out to be an epic
fail! Water falling on her from above? Inside a building? I think not! We got
her in pajamas and we all crashed.
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